No Island is Paradise
by Miaowing Kat
Summary: The X-men get stranded on an island in the middle of nowhere. 8 ball and I have written this together.


A story written by me and 8 ball.   
  
No Island is paradise.  
  
The x men are flying back in the blackbird after their chess tournament with Magneto.   
  
Gambit: Hey look Wolverine I made a house of cards.   
  
Wolverine: Wouldn't it be cool if we put it on fire?   
  
Gambit: Oh yeah I could charge up one of my cards and ditch it at de house, dat will look pretty cool, non?   
  
Gambit tries to throw one of his cards at the house but misses and hits the main control system of the blackbird.   
  
Cyclops and Beast are blown back from the explosion. Cyclops reached for the controls and tried to keep the plane in the air.   
  
Cyclops: I can't keep it in the air for long, we're going down   
  
X men: NOOOOOO   
  
Gambit: Quelle catastrope!!   
  
The blackbird crash lands into a sand dune.   
  
Gambit: I made a booboo?   
  
Jean: Yes you did LeBeau. What do you have to say for yourself?   
  
Gambit: It was an accident. Can not blame Gambit?   
  
Rogue: Whatever, Ah' already hungry!   
  
Cyclops: Well then, uh?   
  
Jean: [Gather food?]   
  
Cyclops: [Yes, thank you honey]   
  
Cyclops: GATHER FOOD!   
  
Wolverine: I want to catch some meat!   
  
Storm: You can not just get meat. That would be very unhealthy.   
  
Jubilee: Who wants to go get food?   
  
Jean: [there are some coconuts up that tree]   
  
Cyclops: LOOK there are some coconuts up that tree   
  
Jubilee: hey great idea cyke, and just how are we supposed to get them down?   
  
Rogue: Well we do have mutant powers ya know   
  
Cyclops: Hey, I was just about to say that   
  
Wolverine: Yeah sure one eye   
  
Cyclops being as easily annoyed as he is, his blood pressure begins to rise, and then he suddenly spontaneously combusted.   
  
Gambit: Mon dieu, you made Cyclops blow up, Gambit is happy wit' you now.   
  
Jubilee: yeah good for you Wolvie, we wont have him on our backs all the time now   
  
Cyclops emerges from the bushes in the background.   
  
Cyclops: that's what you think.   
  
Gambit: Ca alors, I thought you were dead.   
  
Cyclops: not in this marvel universe.   
  
Everyone groaned.   
  
Jubilee: what should we do now???   
  
Wolvie: I've got the coconuts, but unfortunately?   
  
Storm: By the Goddess!   
  
Beast: What's the matter?   
  
Jubilee: He's severed them with his claws! There was milk in those coconuts!   
  
Rogue: Ah'm thirsty!   
  
Beast: We need an alternative water source. We can? just drink from the ocean. Plus, I suggest that we are going to need to set up a fire and a camp.   
  
Storm: Rogue and I will gather firewood.   
  
Rogue and Storm fly off somewhere   
  
Gambit: Merde!   
  
Jubilee: What now?   
  
Gambit: Deres a crab attached to my toe and Gambit cant get rid of it.   
  
Jubilee: Just yank it off.   
  
Beast: I'm afraid that will only further agitate our fellow crustacean.   
  
Wolverine: Cut it of.   
  
Beast: But its claw would most likely still be attached.   
  
Wolverine: I didn't mean the crab. I meant Gumbo's foot.   
  
Gambit: Non, nobody gonna cut off Gambits foot!   
  
Jubilee: oh come on, and then we will have something to eat.  
  
Wolverine: Great idea Jubes lets cut it off.   
  
Gambit: ain't nobody cutting of me foot, let alone eating it.   
  
Wolverine: lets take a vote then shall we, all in favour of hacking off Gambits leg, say I.   
  
All (except gambit of course): I   
  
Gambit: I thought it was just Gambit's foot you were gonna cut, non?   
  
Wolverine: higher in demand   
  
Gambit: Don't nobody agree with Gambit?   
  
Rogue: Please, we're all hungry!   
  
Storm: See the reason behind this!   
  
Gambit: You all gone wacko! De hunger has gotten to your heads!   
  
Wolverine: C'mon, I bet you taste real good...   
  
Gambit: Non Non! I be tasting disgusting! Le worst!   
  
Jubilee: It's okay, look, there's a herd of buffalo stampeding towards us.   
  
Gambit: Good, dey be much better source of meat than I.   
  
Jean: Uh, isn't a large herd of buffalo stampeding towards us a little dangerous?   
  
Beast: She is right my friends. If we do not get out of their way, we are all going to be trampled.   
  
(Da, duh, DUH...) (dramatic music that always comes at the end of a cartoon, followed by the advert.)   
  
(Adverts pass, back to the X-men)   
  
Rogue: Oh no! Whut in tarnation are we gonna do?   
  
Storm: I can fly! I'm safe!   
  
Rogue: Oh yeah, me too!   
  
Wolverine: I can jump out of the way really fast.   
  
Beast: I can hang onto a tree.   
  
Jean: I can lift myself and Scott up into the air for a brief amount of time.   
  
Gambit: I can... uh...   
  
Jubilee: I can't do anything!   
  
Gambit: We gonna die!!  
  
Beast: yes indeed you are!   
  
Jubilee: No, that can't be right   
  
Cyclops: don't worry you will come back to life like I did.   
  
Storm: the pain will not last long my friends   
  
The buffalo trample Jubilee and Gambit.   
  
Wolverine: well look on the bright side at least we get to eat tonight.   
  
Storm: don? you have any consideration for the dead??   
  
Rogue: yeah, what if gambit was to wake up and see you eating consuming what's left of his mangled body?   
  
Wolverine: well I would offer him some.   
  
Jean: that's just disgusting, but that's just a standard thing for you men   
  
Rogue: Yeah your all just pigs   
  
Storm: Argh!! Men   
  
  
The x women turn and leave in disgust, and Cyclops follows.   
  
Rogue: get lost, yer one of them.   
  
Cyclops: no I'm not, I can change, I can be sensitive. So can I join your group?   
  
Rogue: not unless you cut off your peenie   
  
Cyclops cringed at the thought, and left to go and join Beast and Wolverine.   
  
Cyclops goes back to join Beast and Wolverine. He sees them devouring Jubilee and Gambit's bodies.   
  
Cyclops: Eeeeeew! You guys are just So sick!   
  
Beast: Would you care for some?   
  
Wolverine: Jubilee has a great crunch to her, but Gumbo has a lovely spicy flavour.   
  
Cyclops: Ugh, Look at you two! You've become savages!   
  
Beast: Oh my God, you're right.   
  
Wolverine: I don't care.   
  
Beast: You have no respect for our comrades that have died?   
  
Wolverine: Nah. They're tasty and they're keeping me alive!   
  
Cyclops: Well, I am rather hungry.   
  
Wolverine: So eat some then!   
  
Beast: Yes, actually if we weren't mutants and were not used to these harsh living conditions, we'd probably be dead by now.   
  
The three guys turn their heads as they see Rogue and Jean carrying the body of Storm on their shoulders   
  
Beast: What happened?   
  
Rogue: She was being so silly! She kept going on how we was gonna die and she jus' went crazy!   
  
Jean: We thought it was the best thing to do...   
  
Wolverine: She's dead! let's eat her too. The body of a Goddess should be really tasty!   
  
Rogue: Darn it Logan, she's just been knocked out!   
  
Cyclops: We have to get out of here!   
  
Jean: [Well duh Hunny, but HOW?]   
  
Cyclops: [Uh...]   
  
Cyclops: I propose we...   
  
Rogue: We whut?  
  
Cyclops: we will get Nightcrawler aka Kurt Wagner to teleport us back to the mansion one by one!!  
Jubilee-Ghost: and how are we gonna contact him  
  
Cyclops: ok then, we . . . SWIM!!  
  
Wolverine: well I'm up for that, but first I need some more meat.  
  
Beast: but then you'll have to wait a while before you can swim  
  
Rogue: ok we will eat tonight and go in the morning  
  
Beast: Agreed  
  
In the morning they finally started swimming, and after about 15 minutes they convinced Rogue to fly them back the rest of the way.  
  
At the mansion  
  
Prof X: Glad to see you've returned just in time to meet a newest member of the X Men. Well this person not really new, but just alldifferent limbs of Gambit, Jubilee and Storm that you did not eat.  
  
Out stepped a strange figure of the three X men put together  
  
Prof X: It will be known as Gabjuborm. Gabjuborm will now be sleeping in, drum roll please, Cyclops room.  
  
Cyclops: AAAAAAHHHH (a very girlie scream)  
  
Gabjuborm: augh (sorta drooling sound) we can be friends!!  
  
  
The End 


End file.
